


(Like You)

by itsady



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl Kyle (She-Ra), Trans Girl Perfuma (She-Ra), Trans Guy Bow (She-Ra), Trans Male Character, Transphobia exists au but it's not depicted overtly in this work because no bummers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25553881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsady/pseuds/itsady
Summary: >>> Bow: Kyle, it's important that you take this at your own pace but>>> Bow: If there is anything you wanna get off your chest now or whenever, I will hear you outEverything was moving so fast but you didn’t want it to stop. Your hands moved without you thinking, typing out the thought you had buried for so long. You didn’t know if it was true, but Bow was so kind, and accepting, and... he can help you.>>> Kyle: I think I want to be a girl.Or: what if Kyle and Bow meeting in No Princess Left Behind took a bit of a different turn.
Relationships: Bow/Kyle (She-Ra)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, I never foresaw this happening, but inspiration stuck and I wrote my first fic!
> 
> Huge thanks to my editors—and especially to Flora, whose fic "Everything Has Breath Inside" largely inspired me to create this. If you vibe with trans Perfuma, please do yourself a favor and check it out! I briefly reference some things from it in this fic, but you don't have to read that one for this to make sense.
> 
> This fic begins at (and diverges from canon at) the beginning of s01e09, No Princess Left Behind.

As you walked the long corridor toward the high security detainment cells, you couldn’t help but think how much better your day had been going before you got the call from Lonnie.

“Kyle. Catra says Shadow Weaver wants the prisoner in 4-E fed,” she had said. You’d thought it was funny at the time. Gotta keep the prisoners in perfect health for Shadow Weaver’s _interrogation._ You hadn’t seen the results of one of her sessions first hand, but there were stories that floated around the Horde, and what little you knew of Shadow Weaver’s demeanor left you no reason to doubt them. You felt for the girl you had heard was being kept in her ward.

You carried a small metal tray, the same ones used in the mess hall, but the “food” on this tray was even worse than what was served to soldiers like you. A tin cup of questionably cloudy water and a single, expired, green ration bar—the worst flavor, in your opinion. You wouldn’t wish that gut-churning taste on anyone, but especially someone who didn’t grow up with a belly of steel from living on ration bars day in and day out.

 _End of the hallway. Up to floor four. Then I can get this over with and get back to my day off. Not that days off mean anything, now that Catra’s force captain,_ you frowned.

You shuddered at the thought, then shook it off as you boarded the elevator. The prison food delivery mission wasn’t the kind of task you did very often; you felt vulnerable, like the cell block guards were staring you down. You wanted it to be over, before you had the chance to make a fool of yourself.

The elevator stopped on four. The pair of guards stepped out with you, then stood to wait on either side of the elevator door. You crossed the bridge, knees shaking, but you made it across without issue and took the path to the right around the outer walkway. Your heart pounded as you finally arrived at the last cell, and when you saw him, you nearly dropped the tray. _Oh no, he’s hot._

You blushed with embarrassment as the thought bounced around your brain. This isn’t what you signed up for... not that you had signed up for any of this in the first place, but—fuck, dude! Prisoners aren’t supposed to have glowing brown skin, or an intoxicatingly muscular physique, or such soft, beautiful dark eyes. He wore a white dress shirt, torn from some kind of confrontation with the Horde (you guessed), and his tight, muscled stomach was exposed from the damage, and _oh god he’s staring at me_ _and i’m just standing here gawking and…_

“H-hi I’m Kyle,”

_WHAT??? He’s a PRISONER, he doesn’t need to know your name, why are you—_

“Uh, hello, Kyle,” offered the prisoner, cutting off the cacophony of thoughts running through your mind. “I’m Bow.” He smiled, weakly. This was getting real weird, real fast for an interaction between a prisoner and his captor.

You pulled your shoulders back out of your comfortable slouch in a desperate grasp for some decorum. “I uh,” you stumbled, “brought you some food.” _That sucked, pull it together._ “...Prisoner.”

“Thank you, Kyle,” said Bow. What a dumb name for such a pretty boy. There was something about him, something different from other guys in the Horde. And not just that he was hot—you had been attracted to plenty of boys before, not that anything had ever come of it. No, Bow was different. Kinder? You didn’t know how you could know that from the other side of a glowing force field and having exchanged a grand total of 15-odd words in your lifetime, but he radiated this energy of… something. Something that felt warm and good.

You realized once again that you were spacing out and embarrassing yourself in front of Bow, a freaking PRISONER! _Get it together, Kyle._ You quickly moved to key in the passcode, and a small window opened in the force field, offering just enough space to hand the tray to Bow.

He accepted it with another soft smile, and then his brows turned pensive. “Listen, Kyle, I was brought here with another prisoner, a girl, and I’m worried about her. I just want to make sure she’s okay. Do you know anything about that?”

 _Oh. Oh._ This was THAT prisoner. He was with the princess they brought in. You wanted to like Bow, to be friendly with him, but this carried a risk. You were smart—too smart to fall for the Horde’s propaganda about princesses, but the Horde did house and feed you and you didn’t want to risk losing that. “I— I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Bow slumped down onto the bench in the cell. “That’s fine, I get it.”

“B-but if there’s something else I can do for you,” you began, tugging at your collar awkwardly. “I would be h-happy to—”

“Actually,” Bow met your gaze again. “There is something. Menstrual pads.”

 _W-what???_ Why would he need something like that? Could it be for some kind of escape attempt? You puzzled, wondering how much trouble you might already be in just for giving this guy the time of day.

Bow clearly saw your bewilderment. “I uh,” he began. “See, they took my bag off me when I got here, and—”

“But aren’t you a guy?!” you whisper-screamed, then a wave of shame hit you as you realized what he was about to say.

“I am a guy, but my body is different from most guys. And one of the ways it’s different is that I menstruate. And it’s, well… I could really use the pads, Kyle.”

You nodded apologetically, holding your fist to your closed mouth to show, you hoped, that you regretted your outburst. If you had gathered correctly, Bow was transgender. You knew the word transgender. You knew, loosely, what it meant. Not from the hateful talk of your fellow soldiers, but from outside the Horde, on the internet. (Hordak’s filters tried to hide anything outside of what the Horde considered ‘normal,’ but you were clever enough to work around them.)

You had never met a transgender person in the flesh, however. Not until now.

“Look, I gotta go. The guards are probably suspicious already. I’ll… I’ll try.”

“Thank you, Kyle,” said Bow, with one last trademark smile. _Where does he get off, being as charming as he is AND a prisoner?_ you thought.

You spun on your heels and quickly paced toward the bridge, back towards the safety of your room. Some day off this was turning out to be.


	2. Chapter 2

An hour later, you quickly rooted through Lonnie’s foot locker. You had been back in the barracks ten minutes after leaving Bow, but had to wait quite a while longer before you were alone in your six-bed quarters.

_Where, where? I see tampons, but he said pads and I don’t want to get the wrong thing. Argggh!_

You gave up and shut the foot locker, moving on to Cassidy’s. A minute of searching her much messier locker, and _AHA!_

You weren’t sure how many it would take, but you ended up taking slightly less than half of her stash and shoving them loosely into your bag. Just to be safe.

In the engineering lab, you scanned the shelves. Your class last year had built radio frequency communicators, and you were sure there were still a few lying around somewhere.

You searched box after box until one from the top shelf yielded what you were looking for: a palm sized grayish-green piece of kit that flipped open to reveal a screen on one side, and a keyboard on the other. _Perfect._ You grabbed a second one and a battery for each.

The communicators were easy enough to set up: put in the fresh batteries, and tap one to the other to pair them. _All set._

* * *

The time was 1815. _Shift change is done. The guards won’t recognize me. No reason to think anything is up. No reason at all. Nope._

You paced anxiously towards the elevator door for the second time that day. You carried a tray identical to the one from earlier (as an excuse for your return), and a couple extras in your bag.

As you arrived at the elevator, you smiled at the guards, sheepishly holding up four fingers to indicate the floor you wanted. “Uhhhh, food and medical supplies for a prisoner.” They glanced at each other, and seemingly satisfied, stepped into the elevator. You joined them, and up you went.

As you stepped out and crossed the bridge once more, you anxiously held your free hand to your bag, pressing it close to your body. _This is too risky, why am I risking this for someone I barely know? This is pointless, he probably doesn’t even care about me._

You were at your destination: 4-E. Bow slept awkwardly sprawled on the floor, probably because the bench was too narrow to lie on comfortably. He was a prisoner, and you couldn’t do anything to change that, but you wished that you could at least make him more comfortable. _Well,_ you thought, _at least this stuff will help some…_

“Bow…” you whispered. He didn’t stir. You cleared your throat and spoke up. “Prisoner! Wake up!”

He jolted awake, fearful, but then—meeting your eyes—his expression flashed from confusion to relief.

“Sorry. Appearances, you know?” You gestured to the guards with your eyes. “I brought you some things.”

Bow got to his feet, looking at you expectantly. Then his eyes flicked down to the tray you held and a sickly look came across his face.

“Oh, right, the food. I'm so sorry I didn't warn you about it earlier. Green is the worst flavor… but this time I got you the gray kind! I'm sure you'll like it.” You hoped so, given you’d swapped your own for his.

“Thanks,” said Bow, as you keyed in the combination, opening the small window again. “I'm not really hungry right now, but I'll uh, look forward to it.”

“I also got you the pads,” you whispered, not sure why you were so embarrassed since he was the one who asked for them. “I didn’t know if there were different types so I brought a whole bunch—here,” you offered, pulling a small package out of your bag. “I wrapped them all up in this. There’s also… something else in there.”

Bow raised a questioning eyebrow. Something inside your stomach jumped at the sight. He really was handsome. You didn’t know much about people… _like him…_ but you wanted to. You didn’t know how the people you overheard in the mess hall sometimes could say such awful things about people like Bow.

“I found some communicators. See, I, well, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about,” you stumbled. “I mean, if you wanted to. But I can’t really hang around here too long, so I thought maybe we could like, message? I mean, it doesn’t look like you have a lot to keep you busy.” You tugged your uniform shirt down nervously.

He cracked a smile. “I think that would be just fine, Kyle.”

“You have to be careful, though,” you urged him. “If you get caught with that thing, I could get in _huge_ trouble! Only take it out when there are no guards around. Speaking of which...” You glanced back at the elevator. The guards were talking, not looking at you at the moment, but you didn’t want to take any chances. The delivery had been made.

“I gotta go. I set the communicator to silent already so you won’t be heard, just _please_ be careful, because it won’t be good for either of us if someone finds you with that.”

Bow held up his hands in a playful defensive gesture. “I got it, Kyle. I don’t want that to happen to either of us. And hey… thanks again.”

You nodded and turned back to the bridge, only to find that the guards were now looking your way. Thinking fast, you wheeled back around to face bow and belted out, “And you better stay in line, _prisoner_ , or I’ll make sure Shadow Weaver hears about it!” followed up with a sly wink to Bow. He seemed to get the message, because he looked to make sure the guards couldn’t see his face and then gave you a knowing smile.

_Whew._ Dread dripped over you as you took the short (though it felt eternal) walk back to the elevator, but if the guards suspected anything odd, they didn’t show it. You had done it. The pieces were in place. Now, you only needed to wait.


	3. Chapter 3

You didn’t have to wait very long. When you arrived back at the barracks, hand still nervously clutching your bag, you went straight to your bunk and checked the communicator. _A light!_ The light meant you had a message waiting. _Already!_

You glanced around. Dani was in the room too, listening to the radio on her headphones. _Have to be careful._ You got into bed, pulling the covers over your head. No one would think you napping at 1900 hours was too unusual—you never spent very much of your free time outside the comfort of your bunk, after all.

Rolling onto your side, you released your clutch on the comm and flipped it open. A single message awaited you:

 _ >>> Bow: _ Kyle?

You beamed under the covers.

 _ >>> Kyle: _ Hey, Bow. Did I spell your name right?

 _ >>> Kyle: _ I programmed it into the comm before I gave it to you.

You really didn’t know anything about him, aside from what he’d told you. Personal information on prisoners was need-to-know, and you, well... didn’t.

The light blinked.

 _ >>> Bow: _ Yeah! Like the weapon

 _ >>> Bow: _ So, what did you want to talk about?

You breathed out, shutting your eyes tight in thought. _This is it. I just need to get it out there. Type the words out and send._

 _ >>> Kyle: _ How did you know you were transgender?

You bit your lip, staring at the message on the screen. It was too late to take it back. Bow was probably reading it right now, thinking about you and how you’re a prying little nosy freak. You began to type again: _I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude and it’s okay if—_ but an incoming message cut you off before you could finish.

 _ >>> Bow: _ That’s a big question

 _ >>> Bow: _ I think I always knew I wanted to be a boy, even before I knew I could be one

 _ >>> Bow: _ I got along well with girls when I was a kid

 _ >>> Bow: _ But I didn't like being grouped in with them. I felt different

 _ >>> Bow: _ I hated dresses and liked wearing my brothers’ clothes better

 _ >>> Bow: _ My dads caught on pretty quick and sat me down when I was 7

 _ >>> Bow: _ They didn't know a lot about gender but they wanted to help

 _ >>> Bow: _ They had found some books on the subject and we went through them together

 _ >>> Bow: _ And by the end of that night we decided I was a boy

 _ >>> Bow: _ That's not how it goes for everyone though.

 _ >>> Bow: _ One of my close friends didn't realize she was a girl until she was 14

 _Holy shit._ He knows more people like him? And a girl? You had no idea being transgender was so common. You quickly typed out a new message.

 _ >>> Kyle: _ Wait did she used to be like me then? And she's a girl now?

 _ >>> Bow: _ Well technically she was always a girl but she didn’t know it for a long time

 _ >>> Bow: _ It’s hard when you don't have trans role models to help you know what's possible

 _ >>> Bow: _ Kyle, it's important that you take this at your own pace but

 _ >>> Bow: _ If there is anything you wanna get off your chest now or whenever, I will hear you out

Everything was moving so fast but you didn’t want it to stop. Your hands moved without you thinking, typing out the thought you had buried for so long. You didn’t know if it was true, but Bow was so kind, and accepting, and _he can help you._

 _ >>> Kyle: _ I think I want to be a girl


	4. Chapter 4

_ I think I want to be a girl. _ You stared at the message on your comm for a second, then slammed it shut. You buried it in your pants pocket. You needed air but at the same time you dared not show your face above the covers.

A minute passed. Then five. You could see the light on the comm blinking even through the thick material of your uniform.  _ He’s waiting. He saw. He knows. _

You threw the covers off, startling Dani as well as Rogelio, who had entered the room while you were under the covers. You shrunk beneath their stares but got up anyways and ran to the washroom.

Eyes glued to the floor to protect yourself from whatever you might see in the small dingy mirror on the wall, you went to the sink and ran cold water over your hands. You had meant to splash your face, but you didn’t even have the strength. You collapsed to your knees, pressing your forehead to the edge of the sink, the sound of flowing water drowning out the sirens blaring in your head.

Something touched your back and you jumped. Tears you don’t remember crying blurred your vision, but Rogelio’s green skin was unmistakable in the mirror. You turned; screamed something you couldn’t hear. He backed away and you slammed the door behind him.

_ What the fuck is happening to me, _ screamed something somewhere inside you.  _ Why did I do this? This is wrong. This isn’t me. _

No one came in again for a long while. You sat there on the cold floor. You wept, alone. You hated that you had hurt Rogelio, but it’s not like he’d never hurt you before. Still, you and Rogelio understood each other. Kind of.  _ But god, if this gets back to Lonnie? To Catra? _ You’d be done for.

The door opened and you shook with fear. You looked up from the floor where you had collapsed, to find not Catra or Lonnie but the concerned face of Force Captain Scorpia.

“Hey, Kyle.” she said soothingly. You were facing her, and without thinking you edged back, trying to keep distance between you and—well, anyone, for now. She pulled both her claws up close in front of her body, in a gesture that seemed to say,  _ I won’t hurt you. _

“Is it okay if I sit down?” she asked. You thought a moment, then nodded. She shut the door, then slowly brought herself down to your level, her hard tail and claws tapping against the cold floor. The two of you looked at each other. You wondered how pathetic you must seem to her right now.

“So, I was passing by in the hall when I heard the commotion, and, well. We can talk if you want! Oh, we don’t have to, though. Totally your choice.”

_ Oh god, _ you thought.  _ How am I going to make this go away? I don’t need this, I just need to take back the last ten minutes of my life. I need things to go back to normal. _

“I, uh,” you began, voice shaky. “I had a bad dream.”

Scorpia looked at you caringly. It seemed caring, anyway. Of all the people you knew in the Horde, Scorpia was probably the nicest. She could be mean, of course, but by your understanding she usually had a pretty good reason when she was. After a beat, she spoke up. “Do you wanna talk about it at all? Again, totally no pressure!”

“I don’t know. I was in a really unfamiliar situation, and I didn’t know what to do.” It was kind of the truth, at least.

“Hmmm. Well,” Scorpia offered, “I think the most important thing to remember, if a situation like that should pop up again, is that you  _ always _ have friends who you can reach out to. You don’t have to go through anything alone, Kyle! There are tons and  _ tons  _ of people with just, ya know,  _ all kinds _ of different experiences, and they’re there to help each other out. That’s what friendship’s all about!”

You had been staring at the floor for most of this conversation, but now, you met her gaze. “Thanks, Force Captain Scorpia. I think that helped.”

“Oh, you got it, kiddo. Now, don’t tell Catra, but what say we head down to the mess hall? I betcha a force captain like me could scare up a couple gray bars and some protein drinks for us! Always does me good after a nice cry.”

“Really?” you asked. “That sounds nice.” She stood and offered you a claw to pull yourself up on, which you tentatively took, avoiding the pincer.

As you stepped out of the washroom, you saw Rogelio and Lonnie, who both looked at you with an emotion somewhere between worry, annoyance, and pity, but Scorpia met your gaze and smiled, walking proudly with you in tow, and you shook off any worries you had for the moment.


	5. Chapter 5

After a long evening of eating your feelings and talking about anything and everything  _ except  _ your breakdown, Scorpia had dropped you back at your quarters. It was just past 2200, so lights were out. You followed the dim path lighting on the floor back to your bunk, and tucked yourself in. The comm was still in your pocket, and you’d been anxiously palming its outline for hours now. It was time to address the issue.

You flipped open the comm and scrolled up to where you had left off, preparing yourself to take in whatever Bow might have said since you last spoke.  _ When I said that I wanted to be a girl _ . Did you? Yeah. Of course. You were ready to admit that. You’ve wanted it for so fucking long... as long as you can remember. You wanted to be brave and confident like Adora; soft and friendly like Scorpia; strong and funny like Lonnie. Even Catra, as awful as she was a lot of the time, had things about her that you admired. _ Whatever. Time to do this. _

There were quite a few messages you missed. Understandable, considering how abruptly you had disappeared after dropping that bomb.

_ >>> Bow: _ That’s amazing!! I’m really proud of you for saying that. It’s a big step

_ >>> Bow: _ And know that even if you have doubts, there’s nothing wrong with thinking critically and exploring your gender

_ >>> Bow: _ It sounds cheesy, but the journey of self-discovery can be just as important as the destination.

_ And then, ten minutes later or so, _

_ >>> Bow: _ Hey, are you there? I know this might seem like a lot right now, so take as much time to process this as you need. I'll be here when I can to talk more.

_ >>> Bow: _ And I can tell you all about my experiences, if you want. They won’t be exactly the same as yours will be, but it’s a start

_ >>> Bow: _ And I hope someday you get a chance to talk to another trans girl. I wish I could patch in that friend of mine haha

You wished that, too. But Bow’s generosity and openness is what had helped you admit to yourself that you might be transgender, and you appreciated that nonetheless.

_ Were there other people like me in the Horde?  _ you pondered.  _ It’s starting to feel more likely, but they’re probably just as unsure and closed off about it as I am. _ It was no surprise they—or you—should feel that way, though, given how you’ve heard transgender people discussed around here.

You scrolled down to read the last message he had left you.

_ >>> Bow: _ I’m gonna get some sleep. I’ll be here to talk when i wake up though. And again… I'm proud of you.

Bow was proud of you. You couldn’t believe it! He had been so kind and thoughtful to you through all of this, especially considering his current situation. You really hoped Shadow Weaver wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. Maybe she’d forget about him, or not care, and you could keep bringing him food and talking and getting to know each other. You couldn’t stand up to Shadow Weaver, so it was the best you could offer him. Well, that and information.

_ >>> Kyle: _ I’m sorry I disappeared, Bow. I kind of freaked out when I said what I said out loud.

_ >>> Kyle: _ Well, not out loud, but you know :3

_ >>> Kyle: _ Anyways, I got over it and I’m feeling better now, so I hope we get to talk more soon.

_ >>> Kyle: _ I think I was so scared to admit it all this time because the Horde doesn't treat people like you (and maybe me) very well.

_ >>> Kyle: _ I don’t know if I could ever be like you unless I wasn’t with the Horde, but I don’t know how to make that happen. I don’t think I can.

_ >>> Kyle: _ So I’m kinda stuck you know? I feel better knowing this about myself but I can’t do anything about it.

_ >>> Kyle: _ I have no love or sympathy for the Horde. I know better than to believe Hordak and Shadow Weaver’s lies.

_ >>> Kyle: _ But they give me a bed and food to eat. If I left, even if I could, I don’t know what I’d do.

_ >>> Kyle: _ I want to talk to you more tomorrow. Okay?

_ >>> Kyle: _ I really appreciate you helping me through this. Thank you, Bow.

You shut the comm.  _ Oh wait, information. _ You flicked it back open to give Bow what little you had to offer in return:

_ >>> Kyle: _ One more thing. You asked about a girl when we first met. I think she’s being kept in Shadow Weaver’s quarters. I’ll tell you more if I hear more. Goodnight Bow <3

_ Was that too much?  _ You could feel cold sweat begin to prick at the back of your neck with anxiety. It had been a long day, though, and it was easy enough to push the feeling down. _ Welp, too late to take it back now. _

You closed the comm once more, for good this time, and slid it under your pillow. Still in your uniform, you slipped your pants off under the sheets. The shirt stayed on, like usual. You didn’t like your body—never had—and the shirt helped you feel a little safer from it, and from people who might see it. You didn’t like to be seen, even less now that you knew what you knew about yourself, because nobody saw you the right way. You had to control things as much as you could, where you could.

But reflecting on that tonight wasn’t going to make you any more comfortable, so you shrugged it off and shut your eyes. Tomorrow would be another day.


	6. Chapter 6

The sirens woke you up. You panicked, body awake but mind not yet fully working. You sat upright in your bunk, scanning the room. Nobody here. How long had you slept through the siren? What was it for? 

_ Wait… _

You reached under the pillow for the comm and flipped it open.  _ 3 messages. _

_ >>> Bow: _ Friends broke me out not much time

_ >>> Bow: _ We can give you a safe accepting home. Meet at Thaymor in one week’s time at noon if you want out

_ >>> Bow: _ <3

A dozen thoughts bounced through your head:  _ I’m alone. He’s gone. Is he gone? What if he got captured? I hope he makes it out okay. I hope he got the girl out. Can I really get out? I could catch a transport to Thaymor easily enough… I can trust Bow. Bow sent the heart. Bow cares about me. _

You slumped down, head to pillow, not wanting to take on whatever it was that may or may not be currently happening outside your quarters. Lonnie would ask what the hell you were doing this morning when she saw you later, but that was a problem for later.

* * *

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING THIS MORNING?!”

Lonnie stared you down. You had fallen back asleep almost immediately once someone shut the alert siren off, but now, at 1300 hours, you faced the consequences of your sloth.

“YOU WERE ON DUTY!”

_ One more week. One more week and then you’re free of this. _

“I’m sorry, Lonnie,” you began, “I had kind of a rough night. I guess I just overslept.”

“UGGGGHHHH. Why is it  _ always you  _ that causes me problems? I just want  _ one day _ without you slacking off or messing up.”

“I really am sorry, Lonnie…” You weren’t. Lonnie treated you like shit—had for years—and you wouldn’t lift a finger to make her life easier. You only bothered busting your ass when it kept you safe and fed, and she didn’t seem to give a damn about that.

_ “Whatever.  _ Just be on duty ASAP.” She spun on her heel with a huff and walked briskly out of the room. You were alone again.

_ One more week. _

* * *

That night, you thought of the logistics of getting out. From the sound of it, there wasn’t much you needed to bring with you—not that you had much to bring, anyway.

Sitting at your foot locker, you perused your small collection of possessions.  _ Uniforms—won’t need those. Canteen—that’ll be useful. Your various electronics projects… well, they’ll just take up space. _ You stopped as your gaze came across a small printout of a photo.

It was from the day your squad had graduated training. You had fallen behind a cycle and weren’t graduating yet, but Adora had insisted you be in the photo anyways. She had her faults, but in all the time you knew her she never let you feel left out, and you appreciated that.

It was a little over a year ago. Lonnie had gotten Octavia to take the photo, and later you had taken the files and made prints for everybody to keep.

The photo was of your whole squad: Rogelio, Lonnie, Catra, Adora, and you. Adora and Catra fought to make bunny ears above each others’ heads and Lonnie chided them for it. Rogelio stood tall and proud, and you wore the biggest smile you’d ever seen yourself make—not that you ever spent much time smiling when mirrors or cameras were around. In the distant background, Shadow Weaver spoke with a couple of force captains, seemingly unaware of the photo being taken—though with her, you were never sure.

It had been a good day. After the photo, you and Rogelio had walked back to your quarters, sitting on his bunk and playing card games. You hadn’t known all the rules, and the communication barrier made it challenging to reconcile that, but you had had fun nonetheless.

You would miss him. You would miss all of them. You weren’t sure why, given how they treated you sometimes, but they were all you had. For such a long time, it was just the five of you. Then, the four of you.  _ Now, pretty much just the three of us, and I’m about to make it two. _ You hoped Rogelio and Lonnie would be okay.

As if on cue, in walked Rogelio and Lonnie.

You shoved the photo in your bag, but you couldn’t hide your tear streaked face from them. They paused in the doorway, bewildered. You ran full force at them and lept into a hug, an arm around each of their necks, pulling them close. They were stunned, but they looked at each other with resignation and each of them leaned into your embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

It was two days until you were scheduled to meet Bow in Thaymor. You were scared, but determined. Thaymor was, from what you’d been able to discover, operating with a skeleton crew and neither you nor Bow should have much trouble meeting near there without suspicion. 

As for getting there, you had lucked out. There was a transport scheduled to go there late that morning with supplies.You signed up to be on the crew. You’d simply go there like normal on the mission, and then slip away once everyone was there and busy unloading the drop.

You thought about Bow. You thought about your future, away from the Horde. You wondered if you would ever see Adora—you were going to be spending your time in resistance territory from now on, after all. You weren’t sure exactly where Adora was stationed, but you wondered if Bow knew her.

You thought about what might happen to you after all this.  _ Will Catra come after me? I am deserting, after all—but on the other hand, who cares about someone like me? Bow said he could keep me safe, anyway. I trust him. _

Why did you trust him so much? You weren’t sure. But he listened to you. And he spoke kindly. And he seemed to want to help, which is so much more than you could say for most of the people in your life. The Horde wasn’t about helping people. The Horde, at all levels, was about  _ control, _ and you were tired of being controlled.

* * *

The day came. You were on your way to report for duty at the transport dock. There was a separate crew to load the transport, so you simply had to show up, hop in, and go. As you stepped through the large bulkhead to the docks, a pang of anxiety hit you.

Rogelio was there.

You ducked behind some crates. You checked the sign-up logs next to the doorway. Sure enough: supply transport a-15 to Thaymor. Your name, and a few lines down, Rogelio’s.

_ He must have signed up because he saw I was going _ .  _ Fuck! _

This was supposed to be your clean exit. They might miss you, sure, but heartfelt goodbyes were out of the question. They wouldn’t understand; they’d try to stop you. You couldn’t have that.

This was a problem. You and Rogelio always stuck together on missions. You weren’t the best of friends, but the two of you got along okay, and that was a connection to be treasured in the Horde. With him on this mission, how would you ever be able to slip away? You wondered if you would even be  _ emotionally _ capable of it, much less physically.

_ Whatever, _ you thought.  _ This is it. This is my chance, and I’m taking it.  _ You were not spending one more night in the Fright Zone, no matter what. You were getting out.

* * *

The ride was uneventful. When you had approached the transport, Rogelio waved you up to the front—he was driving, and you would sit together, of course. Now, you rode in silence. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him glance at you occasionally, but you couldn’t meet his gaze.

_ He knows something is up, _ you thought. Or maybe not, maybe it was just nerves; either way, you didn’t feel good knowing what you would have to do in just a few minutes’ time.

As Rogelio pulled the transport to a stop, you realized you were there. Thaymor was a small village, so you were parked in the central clearing mere moments after you entered town.

Rogelio cut off the engine and looked over to you with a nod. You finally looked him in the eye, and forced a smile. The two of you disembarked, and you walked around towards the back of the transport. You stopped short, however, when you felt a vibration in your pocket.

You had brought the comm with you, just in case, and set it to vibrate. It vibrated a second time.  _ He brought his. He’s here. _

You pressed yourself against the side of the transport, hiding as best you could. You could hear the other four people who signed up for the mission jump out of the back of the transport and start unloading.  _ Good, _ you thought. _ They’ll keep Rogelio busy; for now at least. _

You flicked the comm open.

_ >>> Bow: _ Hey, I’m here. I see you!!

_ >>> Bow: _ I’m west of you, in the bushes

You glanced up, got your bearings, and saw him. Fifty feet away, in a bright white top that showed his midriff. He waved.  _ So much for stealth. _

_ >>> Kyle: _ Stay there I’ll come 2u

You shut the comm and glanced towards the back of the truck, only to find Rogelio two paces in front of you, staring you down with a confused look on his face.

“I—” you began. Nothing else came out; you weren’t sure what you had even meant to say. You recentered yourself, taking a deep breath. “Rogelio, I’m deserting.”

Pain flashed across Rogelio’s eyes. You didn’t think you had ever hurt someone so much as you had just now. He closed the distance between you, but he didn’t say a word.

A new thought crossed your mind. “Come with me!” you pleaded. You had considered it before, but decided it was too risky to let him in on your plans. But now... “There are better, safer places than the Fright Zone. I’m going to the Rebellion, but you don’t have to. Just… come with me. Get out.”

Rogelio looked at you with an expression you couldn’t place. Then, he placed a hand on your shoulder. Your heart dropped. He made a guttural noise that you didn’t understand; but at the same time, you did. You knew what he was saying. He wasn’t ready. He couldn’t.

You pulled him in to one last hug. He obliged, then motioned toward the rest of the group at the back of the transport, still unloading. He was going to cover for you.

_ Thank you, _ you mouthed. You turned away from him; then back, to see your friend one more time, but he was already gone.

You spun back in Bow’s direction. He looked at you determinedly. Trusting Rogelio, you paced quickly towards the bushes. Covering the last few paces, you rounded the bush only to be met with a bright flash of red and blonde and a tight embrace.

“Adora!” you whispered, still conscious of the nearby party of horde soldiers. “What are you doing here?”

“Bow told me you wanted out. Kyle, I’m so proud of you,” said Adora.

You sighed. “I wish I could’ve brought more people with me. Like Lonnie and Rogelio.” You looked over your shoulder at him. “I asked him to come with me, but he couldn’t.”

It took you a moment to realize how deeply you had put your foot into your mouth. What you had just gone through with Rogelio was nothing compared to how much Adora cared about Catra. She loved her. You don’t know if she knew that, consciously, but it was true. You had seen it so many times over the years, in the way she playfully teased Catra, the way she always protected her from Shadow Weaver, the way she held her a little too tight, a little too long, when she thought no one saw. You couldn’t fathom her loss.

She seemed to brush it off. You wouldn’t wanna talk about it either, if you were in her position.

Bow spoke up, putting a firm hand on your shoulder that made you melt into it. “We have a skiff nearby. Perfuma’s watching it. C’mon, let’s get you out of here.”


	8. Chapter 8

Perfuma turned out to be the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. She was tall and slender, with well-tanned, beautifully freckled skin. She wore a long pink dress, belted at the waist, with a deeply cut neckline that came down into a little keyhole, showing just a bit of her tummy. Draped around her arms was a pale green shawl, and on her wrists and ankles were pink wraps that matched her dress. Her hair was a shimmering light blonde that flowed long, and weaved into it were pink flower blossoms. She smiled gracefully at you, her nose scrunching just a bit.

You couldn’t stand how badly you wanted to be her.

Bow introduced you as he caught up to you and Adora at the skiff. “This is Perfuma! She helped get me and Princess Glimmer out of the Fright Zone.”

“H-hi, Perfuma, I’m… Kyle.”

“Bow told me about you,” Perfuma offered. “He said we’d have a lot to talk about, and I’m looking forward to that. You see,” she clasped her hands in front of her chest, “I’m a trans woman, and I think I can help with some of the things you’ve been struggling with, when you’re ready!”

“A trans woman? What does that mean?”

“It means a transgender woman. I used to be... well, a lot like you!”

“Wait, you’re like me?” you gasped. “B-b-but you, you’re so pretty.”

Perfuma blushed and smiled wide, closing her eyes for a moment. “Thank you. But I think you’re pretty, too. I think, if it’s what you want, you can be a beautiful woman.”

Your thoughts raced.  _ She called me pretty. The pretty girl called me pretty! I don’t think I’ve ever been called that before! _ You felt warmth bubble up into your chest, then self doubt, as other thoughts made themselves known.  _ How could that be possible when I look the way I do? When my voice betrays me, when I don’t have the figure she has. How could— _

“I see you have doubts about that.” said Perfuma, following the other two and getting on to the skiff. She held out a hand to you, with close-trimmed nails painted a beautiful green to match her shawl. She was offering to pull you up. You accepted, clumsily, and once you were all seated, Bow took the steering tiller and piloted you off, away from your old life.

You and Perfuma sat on a bench at the back of the vehicle. You looked to her, speaking louder over the rushing wind. “I don’t know. I just don’t see how I can ever look and sound and walk and  _ be _ like you.” Hanging your head, you felt like you were making her, all of them, waste their time on such a lost cause.

“I can assure you, that will come with time,” the girl said. “But let’s put that aside for now. Let us talk not about the  _ how _ , but about  _ what _ you want.”

You pondered for a moment. “Well, it’s like I told Bow. I want to be a girl. That’s been my wish for as long as I can remember. But I never thought it was possible. And now,” you sighed, “I don’t know what’s possible.”

Perfuma looked deeply into your eyes. “I think that wish is something a lot of people like Bow and I, people like you, struggle with.” Now it was her turn to sigh. “Etheria has become much more accepting of people like us over the last few decades, but there are still deep, societal problems. In most cultures, children are raised differently based on the way they are categorized from birth. Female and male. We are raised up to be exactly what people expect of those categories, and we are never told there is any other way.”

You thought you saw a tear at the corner of Perfuma’s eye, but she turned away from you and continued. “It’s cruel. The Horde never gave you a choice in the matter.  _ My father  _ never gave me a choice. Of course he accepted me when I realized who I was, but before that, he raised me to be a boy because nobody had known any better. Certainly not me,” she huffed.

You didn’t know exactly what she meant by all this, but you felt for her. You reached out and placed a tentative hand on her knee. It caught her off guard, but she turned back to you and smiled.

“I’m getting off track, though,” she laughed. “The cis-heteropatriarchy is a discussion for another time. We want to talk about you! Now, you told me about your wish, how you’ve always wanted to be a girl. I think that’s a perfectly clear sign that you have been one all along!”

“Huh?” you puzzled. “But I’m a boy…”

Perfuma smiled. “You  _ are _ what you  _ want _ to be. If you want to be a girl, if you’ve always wanted to be a girl, then that is what you are!

“But what about my body? My voice? Wh—”

“Those are aspects of you, yes, but they are not you. They are not what make you who you are.”

You pondered this, looking out over the edge of the skiff. You cast a glance up to Bow, then to Adora—who had fallen asleep as soon as you departed—and back to Perfuma.

“So are you saying there’s something inside of me that like, makes me a girl?”

“Your  _ choice _ is what makes you a girl, just like my choice made me one, just like Bow’s choice made him a boy. It’s something we can each only decide for ourselves; but from the things you’ve been saying, it sounds like you made your decision long ago. You just need to realize it. To  _ feel _ it.” She took your hand. “And I think I know something that can help you with that.”

Perfuma gazed about at your surroundings. Taking her cue, you looked, too. You were deep in the Whispering Woods. Perfuma seemed satisfied with what she saw, because she suddenly took your other hand in hers, and said, “We’re going to do an activity now.”

“Um, Okay. What kind?”

“We’re going to yell.”

“What?”

Suddenly, she threw her head to the sky and shouted, “I AM A WOMAN!”

Bow jumped, driving the skiff perilously close to a tree. You were no more prepared than he was. As for Adora, she continued snoozing.

Perfuma beamed at you. You stared at her, eyes wide. She squeezed your hands. “It’s easy, see? You just take what’s inside you, and you put it out into the world!” She took a deep breath and belted once more, “I! AM! A! WOMAN!” Then, releasing your hands, she brought one to your shoulder, and said, “Okay, now you try!”

You gulped. If Perfuma thought this would help, you were prepared to try, but it was a lot. You breathed in.

“I,” you began, “AM a whmb...” You stopped yourself, trailing off.

Perfuma slid closer to you on the seat. “It’s okay. I know, it’s hard. So let’s make it a little easier. Here.” She turned her head away a little. “Whisper it in my ear. That’s all you have to do.”

You shrugged, and then leaned in, close enough to feel the heat of her skin. “I am… a woman.”

“Excellent,” exclaimed Perfuma, at full volume, catching you more than a little off guard. “You said it! I’m so proud of you. Now,” she said, raising an eyebrow, “tell Bow.”

You stood immediately, keeping one hand on the railing to steady yourself. _ This isn’t so hard, _ you thought. You moved up toward Bow at the tiller, and put a cupped hand between his ear and your mouth. “Bow, um, I’m a woman.”

Bow turned and smiled at you. “Yes you are! I’m glad you can recognize that. It’s a big step.”

You looked back to Perfuma, who gave you two thumbs up. “Tell Adora!” she said.

You glanced over to Adora, sprawled on the side seat and out like a light. “But she’s asleep!”

“Wake her up. This is important.” Perfuma pursed her lips and gave you an encouraging look.

You moved to the other side of the skiff, making sure to cling to the rail when possible. You haphazardly sprinted the last few steps once the rail was out of reach, and then collapsed onto the bench on the other side in a seated position next to Adora. She didn’t stir.

“Adora?”

Bow glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah, uh, you might have to shake her a bit. She’s a heavy sleeper.”

You took his advice, and grabbed one shoulder firmly. “ADORA!” you said, louder this time, as you shook her roughly.

Adora’s eyes flicked half open. “Whah?”

“I’m a woman, Adora.” This time it came out a little louder than before, a little bolder.

She smiled lazily. “Oh, I— know thaaat... Thas— thas why I always liked you, pal.” Her head slumped from her shoulder and met the hard bench with a gentle thump, and she fell back to sleep immediately.

You couldn’t believe this. The whole skiff knew. Yesterday, zero people in the  _ world _ knew this about you, and now  _ everybody _ here knew. You were leaving behind your old world where people knew you based on their own judgments. You were stepping into a world where you controlled your destiny, your story.

You looked towards Perfuma. She said, “Are you ready, girl?” Warmth rose inside of you.

You breathed in deep, then let it out of you long and slow, as loud as you could.

“I. AM. A. WOMAAAAANNNN!”

You felt ecstatic. The cool air flowing past your face did nothing to quell the newly ignited fire within you. You had created it; you were going to protect it; and you were going to do everything you could to grow it.


	9. Chapter 9

The skiff pulled to a stop near the edge of a cliff facing the Rebellion capital of Bright Moon. You had never seen it before, and as you gazed up at the scene, you were awestruck. The castle stood across a lake from you, and in the middle of the lake was a grand spire topped with a shining ovular stone.

“That’s the Moonstone,” said Bow, as he disembarked from the craft. “It protects Bright Moon and gives Queen Angella and Glimmer their power.”

You had barely registered the mention of Princess Glimmer earlier, with so much going on, but now you took full note of the mention. “Wait, Bow, do you guys actually know the queen and princess of Bright Moon?”

“Yep,” answered Bow. “We go on missions with Glimmer all the time! She’s actually pretty excited to meet you.”

You felt a lump in your throat, but you swallowed it. “Wow, that’s amazing.”

You felt a firm clap on your shoulder, and spun your head to find Adora standing next to you—seemingly well rested from her nap. “Ready to meet the gang?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah, okay,” you said, feeling anxious about this new experience but excited to be here with Bow and his friends.

Adora and Perfuma led the way down the path to the Moonstone Spire, followed by you and Bow, a few paces behind. It seemed as good a time as any to thank Bow for,  _ well, all of this, _ but just as you were about to speak up, someone interrupted you.

“Halt.”

A tall, dark-haired woman stood ahead of you on the path. She was dressed in what seemed to be the armor of the Bright Moon Royal Guard, and a bright white scar ran across the bridge of her nose. She was beset on both sides by a pair of guardswomen who wore similar attire, in addition to helmets which covered their eyes.

“Hi, General Juliet!” said Bow, nervously drawing out the first word. He edged to the front of the group.

“Why have you brought a Horde soldier to Bright Moon?”

You shrunk. This wasn’t the warm welcome you were expecting from Bow’s excitement. “Um, ma’am, I—”

Bow interrupted you. “She’s not with the Horde,” he said, and it took you a good five seconds to piece together that he was talking about you. This was the first time you’d ever been called that word, outside of bullies making fun of you as a kid. But this was different. It felt… fulfilling. _She._

You realized Bow was still talking to the General—joined by Adora— and they were explaining who you were and how you had deserted.

She seemed satisfied. “Okay. Just… make sure you get her a change of clothes right away. This isn’t the kind of thing Her Majesty would be happy to see, and I  _ assume _ you didn’t inform her you would be bringing home another friend.”

Bow forced a laugh and said, “Good one, ma’am!” as Perfuma and Adora motioned for you to join them on the path ahead.

* * *

The inside of the castle was just as impressive as the outside. The Fright Zone had high ceilings, sure, but in Bright Moon they were  _ everywhere, _ even the hallways. It was as if the castle had been built for an ancient race three times as tall as you.

And then there was the  _ light! _ You’d never before been in such brightly lit rooms. Not to mention that the Horde’s indoor lighting was all artificial, but here, massive windows stretched from floor to ceiling, filling the halls with light. You weren’t sure how that could make such a difference, but it felt a little more lively; more inviting.

Suddenly, a shimmering poof sounded in front of your small group, accompanied by a bright flash. When it faded, you were shocked to find that a young woman had appeared out of nowhere. She instantly leapt to Bow, hugging tightly around his chest.

The woman was stout, and about a head shorter than Bow. She was clothed in shades of lavender: a sleeveless cloak over a singlet, exposing her strong thighs; a sparkling cape adorning her back; tall lilac boots adorned with crescent moons; and white fingerless gloves that reached halfway up her forearms. Completing the aesthetic was her hair: a short, glittery pouf of fuchsia that looked like it would be delightful to run your fingers through.

She seemed…  _ close _ to Bow, given the way she embraced him.  _ Is this Bow’s girlfriend? _ He was surprised by her tackle, but didn’t seem put off, moving a hand to her back.

“Bow!” she said. “Welcome back, everybody!” She released him, moving to greet Adora and Perfuma with similar warmth.  _ Okay, maybe she’s just friendly. _ She finally caught your gaze and smiled warmly. “Hi! I’m Glimmer. You must be Bow’s new friend!”

She extended a hand towards you, and you gathered this was a friendly gesture but weren’t sure what to do until Adora captured your attention, knowingly, and held one of her hands in the other while shaking them up and down vigorously. You mimicked this, extending your left hand to meet her right, and you glowed bright red when Glimmer laughed in response.

“That was pretty good for your first time,” said the girl, with a smile. “But we have a lot to teach you.” It caught you off guard when she moved in to put an arm around your shoulder, and added “I’m looking forward to it!”

“Glimmer,” a strangely accented voice called from the end of the hall. “This meeting is not over. You can catch up with your friends later.” The woman who called for Glimmer was too distant for you to see much detail, but you could tell she was quite tall and slender, wore clothes from the same palette as Gimmer, and had long, beautiful, flowing hair.

Glimmer sighed and released you. “Okay, mom,” she said, and another poof-and-flash erupted from her position. A fraction of a second later, she reappeared next to her mother in the distance.

“That’s Queen Angella,” said Adora. “You’ll meet her eventually, but first we need to get you settled.”

“And that’s my cue!” added Perfuma, taking your hand excitedly. “C’mon, let’s get you some more comfortable clothes. Normally I live in Plumeria, but I keep plenty of extra outfits in my room here, in case I need them.”

_ Did I understand that right? I’m going to wear her clothes? Girl clothes? _ Your heart raced. You felt embarrassed and anxious and ecstatic, all at the same time. You thought about the beautiful clothes women wore and how they hugged their figures or flowed beautifully around them. You thought about your own figure, afraid that you would look gangly and  _ wrong _ .

You looked back at Bow, who gave you an encouraging smile and wave, and you brushed off your fears. If he and Perfuma felt this was right for you, you were ready to trust them.


	10. Chapter 10

“Well, how do you feel?” asked Bow.

You sat on a soft, colorful pillow at a low table in Bow’s room. Across the table sat he and Perfuma, smiling gently at you. Red-orange light from the setting sun flowed into the room through the tall, wide windows, and surrounding you on all sides were various fixtures and surfaces, soft and bright, whose purposes you didn’t know.

Earlier, in Perfuma’s room, she had asked you a few questions about your clothing preferences, which you had stumbled through to the best of your ability. She had then emerged from her closet and provided you with a beautiful dress, casual and light and cut from a deep emerald fabric.

It felt softer than any clothes the Horde had ever given you. Like Perfuma’s, its neckline came down low in front, but this dress was a bit shorter and had sleeves.

Perfuma had smiled at you. “My mother made me my first dress… the one I’m wearing now. I’ve treasured it ever since. This isn’t quite as personal, but I hope it is as meaningful a possession to you as mine is to me. If you like it, it’s yours.”

You’d smiled. “Th- thank you, Perfuma.”

She’d moved toward the door. “I’ll give you some privacy. Just let me know when you’re ready, and we’ll go meet Bow!” and with that, you had been alone in a strange room in Bright Moon.

You’d looked over the dress for a moment, then picked it up off Perfuma’s bed. You had held it up to your body, worrying over whether it would fit. With a sigh, you’d set it back down, kicked off your boots, and began to disrobe.

Being naked was never something you had enjoyed, or even tolerated for longer than absolutely necessary. Aside from the fact that your body looked nothing like you wanted it to (like a girl’s), you also had a deep impression in your chest, a body deformity that your Horde classmates had always made fun of. According to your medical file, the condition had some long fancy name, but all it was to you was another way of looking… wrong.

You had stripped off your shirt, exposing your bare chest to the cold air. You’d deliberately looked away from the full length mirror while doing this, so as not to ruin your excitement at the fact that you were about to wear your first dress! You had quickly picked the garment up and slipped it over your head, and as you’d tugged it down, the stretchy waistline expanded to the contours of your torso. You had reached under the hem and pulled off your pants, and kicked them aside next to your shirt. You’d pulled the dress down the rest of the way, and taking a deep breath, you’d turned to the mirror.

Your jaw had dropped. You were… cute. No, that wasn’t the right word. You were beautiful. The dress fit you perfectly, hugging your waist and then flaring out at your hips into a wide, flowing skirt. The sleeves had felt familiar, almost like your uniform shirt: they hugged your shoulders and upper arms, but not constrictingly so; and they stopped at your elbows, leaving your bare forearms exposed. And then there was your chest. Your pale, bony, flat chest was actually complemented by the deep green of the dress. To top it all off, the dent in your chest had aligned just so with the lower edge of the neckline, leaving a small gap; and combined with the tight fitting fabric on either side clinging to your chest, it almost gave the impression of…  _ breasts. _ You couldn’t help but beam, and followed up with a twirl which sent the hem of the dress out and up. You had said you were a woman, earlier—and you had believed yourself—but now, you looked the part.

Back in Bow’s room, you held the same smile you had worn since first seeing yourself in the dress. You couldn’t believe what a change this had made to your mood and your self-confidence. (Though both of those had gotten a bit of a boost on the walk here from Perfuma’s room: despite your fears of how people might perceive you, everyone you and Perfuma passed in the halls along the way had met you with a smile. You had soaked it in, finally feeling that people were seeing your true self.)

“Bow,” you said, finally finding the words to reply, “I feel amazing. I feel like… like myself, if that makes sense? I don’t know what to say, except, well,  _ thank _ you! Thank you  _ both, so _ much. I can’t tell you how good it makes me feel to be here. For the first time in ages, I feel safe. No, wait, that’s not the right word. I feel… like I’m home.”

“Good,” Bow said. “That’s a feeling every single trans person on Etheria deserves.”

“Yes,” agreed Perfuma. “I don’t know how much gender terminology you’re familiar with, but it sounds like you’re experiencing gender euphoria for probably the first time. It’s a sensation, an emotion, really, that comes with a powerful, healing energy.

“Gender… euphoria?” you questioned.

Bow clarified. “It’s a feeling that is often compared with gender  _ dysphoria. _ They’re two sides of the same coin, really.” Perfuma pressed her lips together and nodded as Bow continued. “Gender dysphoria is the feeling that your body doesn’t match the way you feel inside, which sounds a lot like some of the feelings you’ve described to me. It’s a pervasive and hurtful feeling for trans people, one that can leave you feeling deeply depressed, ridiculed, and alone. Gender  _ euphoria _ , on the other hand, is when that disconnect is rectified: when you feel at home in your body; when you feel accepted for who you are, without the pressure of the world’s expectations and assumptions.”

“That does sound like how I feel…” you offered. “It feels really good. Like I’m, I don’t know, full of energy.”

“Hold on to that feeling, and remember it,” Bow said. “Being trans isn’t always easy. Some days you will still feel dysphoria. I have been very fortunate in the opportunities and relationships life has handed me, and even I feel it a lot of the time.”

“But there are things you can do to alleviate it,” said Perfuma. “Like wearing your favorite clothes that always make you feel good, or spending time talking with friends that understand. We’ll always be here for you!” she said with a warm smile.

“And,” Bow added, taking a serious tone, “there’s another way you can beat dysphoria, if you decide it’s right for you: changing your body.”


	11. Chapter 11

“What do you mean, changing my body?”

The sun had now set, and the sky burned a decadent purple in its afterglow. Perfuma got up to flick the lights on, while Bow remained with you, seeming like he was taking time to find the right words.

_ Changing my body. _ Your mind raced with possibilities as the thought echoed through it. The dress helped, sure. It made you feel better than you had ever felt before. But you still had to take it off at some point. There was still, hiding under it, your same old body. The one you had grown to hate these last dozen years, all lanky and awkward. There was the way your voice sounded—high enough that you were mocked endlessly for it in the Horde, but too deep to be at home in a girl’s body. And then there was the big one. You crossed your legs with shame, and then, realizing how you had exposed yourself, you played it off by shifting and resting your forearm on the table.

“Well,” Bow began, cautiously, “I want you to remember that these are big decisions. And they have lasting consequences, both for better and for worse. It’s not something to jump into overnight, and I say that not to discount your feelings and needs, but to ground you and help you make the right decisions.”

“O-okay. I mean, I guess that makes sense,” you said, with a weak smile. “If you could just  _ poof _ your body into being perfect, then that would be like,  _ magic, _ ” you chuckled.

“Well, actually… magic is exactly how it works!” said Perfuma, with a smile. She returned to her pillow opposite you and flopped down on it with a clumsy kind of grace. You furrowed your brow, and so she went on to explain. “See, Bow and I have some connections in Mystacor. Glimmer’s Aunt Casta knows some very talented sorcerers there, and they have spent the last few decades honing certain procedures to help people like us, using magic!”

_ Magic? _ When you had used the word so lightly a moment ago, you hadn’t considered its implications. You didn’t know much about magic—it wasn’t exactly a topic of study in Horde training. But you had heard of its power as well as its scope.

Bow explained. “There are a number of things they can do for you. The ones that people think of most often when they think of Gender Confirmation Magic are procedures relating to your sex characteristics. This can mean rebuilding genitals so that someone who was born with a penis can have a vagina, or vice-versa.” You felt hopeful and deeply embarrassed all at once. “Or, it can refer to secondary sex characteristics, like adding breasts.”

“But while those are the stereotypical GCMs,” added Perfuma, “they’re not the most common. Are you familiar with the concept of sex hormones?” You shook your head. “Yes, I suppose the Horde probably doesn’t see that as particularly relevant to young cadets. Well, sex hormones are chemicals our bodies make that control a lot of our developmental and reproductive functions, and they directly impact a lot of the sex characteristics Bow mentioned, like genitalia, breasts, or facial hair.”

You shuddered at the mention of facial hair. You hadn’t grown very much yet, but even the little bit of peach fuzz on your upper lip made you feel horrid.

She continued. “The two you need to know about are testosterone and estrogen. Both occur in all bodies, but they occur in different levels based on factors such as your chromosomal layout. That’s a fancy way of saying that, with some notable exceptions, people who are born with penises usually produce more testosterone, and thus later develop things like facial hair. And similarly, people who are born with vaginas typically produce mostly estrogen, leading to them developing breasts at puberty.”

Bow added, “They also affect things like where your body stores fat, your facial structure, and the development of your vocal chords.”

“Put simply,” Perfuma summarized, “these chemicals are the physiological building blocks of our gender presentation, and if you can control the levels that they are produced in your body, you can change a lot of the external aspects of your body.”

“Uh, Perfuma,” Bow laughed, “has anyone ever told you that you sound a lot like Entrapta when you talk about gender?”

Perfuma flushed, then playfully stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m just very passionate, and there’s nothing wrong with that!”

“Anyways,” Bow continued, “I haven’t had any genital reconstruction, because I’m happy with that part of my body the way it is. But I have had hormone realignment.”

“And the same goes for me,” said Perfuma. “My chest used to look like yours, but in two short years, I grew my very own breasts, just as naturally as a cis woman would through puberty.”

“Cis? What’s that?” you wondered aloud.

“Oh! Cis is sort of like the opposite of trans,” she said. “A Cisgender person is someone whose internal feelings about their gender match up with the body they were born into.”

“Must be nice, am I right?!” joked Bow.

Perfuma shot him a look, but she softened when you let out a chuckle. “Anyways,” she continued, “there are other, more focussed procedures one can have done, too! Sometimes your body changes in ways that can’t be reversed by adjusting hormone levels. One example of this is your voice. Testosterone can permanently lower your vocal range, because it causes physical changes to your vocal chords. But, the Gender Confirmation Center in Mystacor has developed a process that specifically reverses those changes! I had it done, raising my voice to a level that I’m more comfortable with.”

“I- I would like that!” you sputtered. “And the hormone thing too!”

“And there’ll be plenty of time for that soon,” Bow cautioned. “But remember, these decisions aren’t to be taken lightly. There are side effects and other things to consider. You should take some time to fully inform yourself and work through what you want out of your transition, as well as what steps you can take to get there. But know that we support you, and we’ll be behind your decisions every step of the way.” He smiled that kind, caring smile that you had first seen back in the Fright Zone, the one that made your heart do flips every time you saw it.

You steadied yourself. “Okay, Bow. Thank you for walking me through all of this. And you, too, Perfuma.”

“Of course!” she said. “And finally, there’s one last thing we want to talk to you about. Your name and pronouns.”

“This is a big part of your trans identity,” said Bow. “People draw a lot of conclusions based on those two things, and by choosing ones that resonate with you, you can control that aspect of your story a little better. Bow isn’t the name I was given when I was born, it’s something I chose.”

“And the same goes for me. My mom gifted me with my name at the same time she gave me the dress.”

“That being said, not everyone changes their name. If you’re comfortable with your current name, it’s okay to keep it, too. And that’s what it comes down to: what makes you most comfortable.” You nodded. “And the same goes for pronouns. Are you familiar with what those are?” This time, you shook your head.

“I think it’s easiest to explain them by example. My pronouns are He, Him, and His. Those are the words that other people use to refer to me, when they’re not using my name. Likewise, Perfuma’s pronouns are She, Her, and Hers. So if I were to talk about her using her pronouns, I would say, ‘She is wearing a pink dress, and it looks stunning on her.’ Does that make sense?” You nodded once more. “A lot of times, men use he, him, and his pronouns, and women use she, her, and hers pronouns, but there are exceptions too, because as I said before, it’s about what makes you feel most comfortable.”

“And there are other pronouns besides those two sets, as well!” he continued. “One of the most common ones is they, them, theirs. That ties into another conversation we can have tomorrow, but it’s getting pretty late as it is.”

“So what we want you to do,” Perfuma began, “is think about what name you might like to be called, if you want to change yours. We can brainstorm on that some tomorrow if you want. And, you should also spend some time thinking about your pronouns. In both cases, you should know that you can change them at any time. Your name is only your name for as long as it makes you happy, and the same goes for your pronouns.”

“Okay,” you said. “Name and pronouns. And think about my body. I can do that.”

“Alright then!” said Perfuma. “Let’s get you set up with a room!”

“Hang on, Perfuma,” Bow interrupted, “We should make sure to consider her needs.” He turned to you. “What sleeping arrangement would make you most comfortable? If you would like to sleep alone, we can set that up; but when Adora first got here we threw a sleepover to make her more comfortable. I’m sure we can set that up with some of the girls, too!”

The thought crossed your mind that the sleeping arrangement you’d be most happy with would be sharing a bed with Bow, but you swallowed that thought for the time being and said, “A sleepover sounds great!”

“Perfect!” said Perfuma. “I’ll tell Glimmer. I know Mermista’s here, and Entrapta should be, too. And Adora, of course!”

“Actually,” Bow corrected, “Entrapta left this evening to pick up some of her things from Dryl, with Adora accompanying her. But I’m sure Glimmer and Mermista will be excited to get to know you.  _ Especially _ Mermista—she’s  _ veeeeerrry _ excitable,” he said, shooting a smirk towards Perfuma.

Perfuma giggled at Bow’s obvious sarcasm, then stood and turned to you, offering a hand to help you up. With a wave from Bow, the two of you were on your way to your first ever all girls sleepover!


	12. Chapter 12

“What are THOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSEEEEEEE?” shouted Glimmer, pointing at your feet the moment you entered her room.

“M-my boots?” you stammered. You did  _ not _ understand where this was going.

“I’m just messin’ with ya. But hey, that dress looks amazing on you, girl.” You were more than a bit confused, but happy to receive the compliment. And you  _ still _ couldn’t believe that people were treating you like a girl!

Glimmer’s room was where your small group had agreed to convene for the night. After raiding the royal kitchen with Perfuma—filling your aching belly for the first time since you had left the Fright Zone’s mess hall this morning—you had stepped back into the hall on your way to Glimmer’s, only to walk straight into the Queen herself!

“Ma’am! I’m so sorry!” you had said in a panic, stumbling backwards.

“Nonsense, it’s quite alright, my child.” said the Queen, a regal air about her voice. “And please, call me Angella. I don’t need yet another person calling me ‘ma’am’ as a reminder of my age,” she said with a gentle smile. “Princess Perfuma, I take it this is the new friend I’ve heard so much about?”

“Yes, that’s right! We rescued her from the Horde this morning,” said Perfuma, clapping a hand across her mouth in terror when she realized what sensitive information she had admitted.

“Oh, it’s alright, Perfuma. I already know of our new ward’s origins. You know as well as I that my daughter cannot keep a secret to save her life.” Perfuma breathed out the anxiety she was holding.

Then, Queen Angella turned to you, placing a hand upon your shoulder. “My child, I want you to know that what you did took great courage. I have seen firsthand the kind of damage the Horde can do, and the power and control that they exercise. Choosing to risk escaping from that is a great undertaking, and I am proud of you. If there is ever anything I can do for you, my child, you need only ask.”

“Thank you, ma’am— I mean, um, thanks.”

Perfuma likely sensed the tension you felt from this interaction, because she quickly ushered you in the direction of Glimmer’s room and away from the Queen’s kind yet intimidating presence.

Now, at the site of the soon-to-be sleepover, Glimmer took you by the hand, saying, “C’mon, you can’t stay looking that pretty all night… we need to find you some pajamas.

She dragged you in the direction of a room offset from her bedroom, some kind of large closet. Inside were rows and rows of beautiful clothes, all matching her trademark theme. At the back, where she brought you now, she came to a stop at a container with many drawers. Opening one, which you noticed was filled with neatly folded shirts, she said, “Pick any one you like, and get changed! I’ll give you some space.” And with that, she teleported to the door and shut it behind you.

There were many different colors and styles in the drawer; you slid out of your dress and tried on a few, but while they seemed like they might fit like a dress on Glimmer’s shorter stature, they were short enough on you to make you fear exposing yourself.

“Um, Princess Glimmer?” you said through the door.

“What’s up?”

“These are a little short…”

“Ah! Okay, yeah, I guess I didn’t think about that. The next drawer down should have some comfy pants you can wear!”

You checked it, and sure enough, there they were. In the end, you settled on a pink top with frilly lining around the ends of the short sleeves, and slid on a pair of soft and loose lavender pants beneath it. You folded the rest of the clothes you had tried on neatly, and returned them to their drawers.

As you emerged from the closet, you found there was one more person in the room than when you had left. She was a sturdy-looking young woman with dark skin and deep navy blue hair which was pulled back into a braid. She wore a matching blue pajama set, the top of which was emblazoned with the phrase  _ I Only Listen to Whale Sounds _ and a small cartoon print of a whale. She noticed you, raised a strong eyebrow, and said in a deep and nonchalant voice, “Hey.”

“This is Mermista!” said Perfuma. “She’s a princess too.”

“Perfuma told me aaaaaaallllll about you,” Mermista droned. “I think it’s like, really cool that you’re, you know, doing all this.” She gestured to your body with a flick of the wrist. You blushed and decided it was a great time to have a staring contest with the ground.

“But that’s beside the point,” Glimmer said, rescuing you. “Tonight, we’re just gonna relax and have a nice, chill, girls’ night.” She poofed across the room and you saw her begin to gather up various pillows in her arms.

Perfuma clasped her hands in front of her with excitement. “Ohhhh, I can’t wait! I’m gonna get my nail polish!”

Mermista rolled her eyes, but shot a smile in Perfuma’s direction. “Sometimes she takes things… a little too seriously.” She glanced back to you and said, “I’m kinda stoked to have, like, a nice, low-energy friend in the group for once.”

You smiled sheepishly at her, not sure whether the ball of anxiety constantly bouncing from wall to wall inside your stomach disqualified you from being  _ low energy. _ Regardless, she seemed kind, and funny, too, and you looked forward to having her as a friend.

“So, uh, I know you’re all princesses,” you said to her, “but what are your powers exactly? I mean, if that’s okay to ask. I saw that Glimmer can like, do that teleportation thing… but I don’t know anybody else’s…”

“Oh, really?” she replied. “I’m surprised  _ Flower Princess _ hasn’t been showing off like she usually does. That’s Perfuma, if you didn’t guess. She can like, make flowers and control vines and plant life and stuff.”  _ Wow, _ you thought. What a neat power! Horde training had only indoctrinated you with how cruel and evil the princesses were; you were delighted to learn that magic wasn’t all bad and destructive.

“Then there’s Frosta, who does like, ice stuff. I don’t know a ton about her because she’s kinda reclusive and stays in her own kingdom?” she said, her voice trailing up as if she wasn’t sure. “Also she’s like, twelve.”

Glimmer reappeared in a flash nearby, stumbling and falling forward onto her giant armful of pillows. Mermista seemed unphased by her antics.

“Then there’s  _ Geek Princess, _ ” she said, softening when she caught a glare from Glimmer. “I mean, Entrapta. She’s a little… different, but she’s like, really good at tech. Also her hair is huge and she can like, grab stuff with it. It’s weird but I can respect it.”

“And of course, me,” Mermista concluded, a smirk on her face. “I can control water and also my legs turn into a fish tail. It’s like, pretty dope.”

“Don’t forget about Netossa and Spinnerella!” added Glimmer.

“Oh yeah,” said Mermista. “Netossa makes nets and Spinnerella controls like, the wind I guess? Also they’re totally dating but think nobody knows. It’s like, really cute.”

“Um,” you said. “Does Bow have a power?”

Perfuma caught you off guard when she answered you, having returned from her errand. “No, Bow doesn’t use magic like we do. He is a skilled archer, though, and he makes all kinds of inventions, too.” You hadn’t known the latter fact about him. You enjoyed tinkering with electronics sometimes, and you were excited to explore the subject with him.

“Anyways,” Perfuma smiled, “Let’s paint some nails!”


	13. Chapter 13

Nail polish, as it turned out, was a decorative paint that you were meant to use on finger- and toe-nails. The other girls painted their own nails, but because of your inexperience, Glimmer had sped through hers and then undertaken the task of painting yours for you. Your hands shook at first, but her calming touch had steadied them. With her encouragement, you had chosen a shade of pale pink, and she now expertly brushed it on to your fingernails.

“So,” Glimmer began, “How are you feeling? Did your talk with Bow and Perfuma go okay?”

Across the room, Mermista and Perfuma lie slumped on a pile of pillows, staring at the ceiling and laughing together while waiting for their nails to dry.

“Y-yeah, it went well, I think.” you said. “There was a lot of information to take in, but I feel better knowing it.”

“Good,” said Glimmer. “He only wants the best for you.” She smiled. “He’s very fond of you, you know.”

Your heart jumped. “M-m-me?” You knew Bow had shown you kindness, but you hadn’t been able to read his feelings about you very well.

Glimmer stifled a chuckle. “Well duh, he only went into hostile Horde territory to rescue you after talking to you like, twice!”

You flushed. “I don’t… I don’t know…”

“Listen,” said Glimmer, switching to your other hand. “I know Bow. I’ve heard the way he talks about you; seen the way he looks at you, when he thinks no one’s watching. He likes you. And he probably won’t admit it because of some stupid reason, like he’s too scared of hurting you or whatever, but…” She stopped painting, but kept her gentle hold on your wrist, meeting your eyes with her own. “Life’s too short for that. So if you feel that way about him, too… you should tell him.”

You could barely breathe. Could it actually be true that Bow felt that way about you? Could you really make each other happy? Your self-doubt begged to differ. “I, um... Look, I’ve never really been together with anyone before. I’ve never even kissed anyone. What would Bow want with someone like me?”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” said Glimmer, slyly. “Bow has been on exactly one date in his life, with me, and it ended in him crying all over me because he thought my mom would kill him if he didn’t kiss me. He’s just as inexperienced with this as you are.”

That revelation both scared and comforted you. It was good that you were both on the same level; but at the same time, in your wildest fantasies where Bow actually liked and wanted to be with you, he was the one who wooed you. Now, you realized you might have to take some initiative, to be vulnerable, and that was intimidating.

“So… do you think I should talk to him?”

Glimmer nodded. “When you’re ready to, yeah. I don’t think it would hurt.”

You sighed. “I don’t know if I’m  _ ever _ going to feel like I'm ready. I don’t know what words to use, or how to even bring it up. I—”

“Hey. Just be honest and tell him how you feel, and the two of you can work through it from there.” She placed a warm hand on your knee. “My dad taught me that when you speak from the heart, good always follows.”

You thought that over for a moment. You weighed the facts. Bow has never treated you with anything but kindness and gentleness. You felt safe around him, like you could be yourself. Like he would always hear you out and respect what you had to say. “Okay. I want to do it,” you said. “Now.”

“Then go! We support you all the way, and whatever happens, we’ll be right here for you. You got this!”

* * *

Out in the hallway now, you clutched your comm. You weren’t sure if Bow would still have his, but if he did, it was probably the fastest way to find him. You reviewed your message as you paced in front of Glimmer’s doorway in the lonely hall.

_ >>> Kyle: _ Bow? Can we talk?

As you waited, your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest. Was this why it was called a crush? Because of the crushing anxiety? Your comm vibrated and you almost dropped it in surprise. Recovering, you read the message on screen.

_ >>> Bow: _ Sure, meet me at the east balcony.

Immediately, you set off towards your destiny, hoping to god Glimmer was right about all this.


	14. Chapter 14

You had to ask three different guards for directions, but you finally found your way to the balcony. You opened the set of double doors to find Bow sitting on a low bench near the edge, looking out at the scenery. It was getting close to midnight, and the moons were high and bright, casting a brilliant indigo glow across the void of the night sky. The trees on the distant shoreline were reflected in the lake, hazy and black. It was a sight unlike any you would have ever been able to see in the Fright Zone, and that was not lost on you.

Bow heard the doors open and looked over his shoulder. He looked nervous, half lost in thought, but he also seemed happy to see you. His gentle, radiant smile sent shocks through your heart just like it always did. You realized you were just standing there holding the door and staring at him, and you shook off your fear and closed the distance. Bow scooted over on the bench, offering a seat. You sat next to him, both of you staring straight ahead or at the ground or anywhere except each other's eyes, until he finally broke the silence.

“So. The sleepover?”

“Oh! Yeah. It was fun, but I needed some air for a bit.” That was half true, at least. The girls had been welcoming, but you still felt a little on edge with them. You felt on edge with Bow, too, but it was… different. Like a shiver of anticipation, a feeling that something good was just around the corner. Good things were always happening to you when you talked to Bow. You hoped that would prove true once again in the next few minutes.

“Well, I'm glad you're here.” He finally met your gaze and offered a smile, tender and warm against the cool breeze of the night.

You fought the urge to inch closer, to just take his hand in yours.  _ Use your words. _

“Bow, I… you mean… a lot to me. You are so sweet, and caring, and trustworthy, even in the face of adversity. You taught me so many things in the short time we've known each other. I feel like... you have this  _ something _ I can't explain that makes everyone around you want to be a better person. You're so much kinder than anyone I've ever known, and, well, I just want you to know I appreciate that. I appreciate you.”

Your eyes had been locked with his all this time, watching him blush as you sang his praises. He was too cute for this world, and you had had to fight hard not to be overcome by that and stumble over your words. But you had said them. You hadn't said your piece, yet, but it was a start.

Now, as you finished, Bow's gaze flicked down to his hands, all fidgety, and then out to the horizon. His mouth turned up playfully. “Are you telling me you wanted to meet me to tell me that I'm… nice?” He laughed.

“No— well, yes, but…”

“I feel like you're selling yourself short,” he said. “I've seen every bit of that same kindness and compassion in you, from the very first day we met.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I had my own reasons for that. Selfish reasons.”

He raised an eyebrow towards you. “Like what?”

“Like this.”

You reached across Bow's chest to his far cheek, where you placed a steady and determined hand. You pulled him in to you, slowly, ever so slowly. Bow got the message. He let you guide him, closing his eyes gently as your lips neared. You barely remembered to tilt your head at the last moment so your noses wouldn't collide, and then suddenly you could feel his hot breath just a moment before his soft lips met yours.

It was bliss. You felt connected to Bow; connected to everything in the universe, as passion passed between the two of you. Bow brought a hand to your side, and you leaned into it. You slid your own from his cheek around to the back of his head, running it over his short, fuzzy hair and pulling him in to you. You needed this, needed him. If this kiss meant anything, he was yours. And you were definitely his.

Bow rocked his head forward, pressing his forehead to yours and parting your lips, and you both gasped for air. You opened the eyes you don't remember shutting, and caught a glimpse of his beautiful smile.

It was different than all the times before. A little less in control. A little more honest. A little more fulfilled, you thought. And you had done that.

At last, Bow parted your heads and broke the silence. He looked into your eyes with a fire lit in his own. “Did that just happen? Because it was kind of really good and I'd like it if it happened again sometime.”

You giggled, bringing two fingers under his chin and drawing him in again.


	15. Chapter 15

As Bow had walked you back to Glimmer's room, hand in hand, you couldn't help grinning. Now, as the two of you came to a stop outside her door, you squeezed his hand and said, “Could you wait here just a moment?” He nodded.

You peeked inside the door. Everyone turned to look at you expectantly. Glimmer saw you beaming and stifled a gasp.

“Ladies,” you said, with an air of formality, “Allow me to introduce, for the first time ever:  _ my boyfriend _ !” You swung the door open and Bow stood there, caught off guard and sheepishly blushing, before you wrapped him in an embrace from the side.

The girls all played along, clapping and cheering as you walked him over to the table where they sat. Mermista even threw in a wolf whistle, and then it was your turn to blush. Bow ruffled your hair playfully, and you beamed up at him.

As the ruckus died down, Glimmer spoke up. “Congratulations, you two. I had a feeling celebrations might be in order, so we prepared a little surprise!”

Perfuma reached under the table and brought out a large platter, topped with a cover, and she placed it in the center of the table. With a flourish of the hand for show, she lifted the cover off, exposing a red frosted cake in the shape of a heart.

“Cake!” Bow exclaimed, bringing his hands to his cheeks. God, he was cute.

“Not just any cake…” said Glimmer. “ice cream cake!”

“Aaaaaaand,” Perfuma added, “we got icing for writing letters! Mermista?”

Mermista held up two plastic tubes unceremoniously. “Kitchen was running low on supplies, so you get blue, or… dark blue,” she said with a smirk.

“I wanna do the lettering!” exclaimed Perfuma, grabbing both the tubes from her. “Alright, what do we want it to say?”

Glimmer touched a finger to her chin thoughtfully. She snapped her fingers and flicked on a mischievous grin. “Congrats on swapping spit.”

Mermista choked. Perfuma scowled, though you could tell she enjoyed it a little. Bow flushed and said “H-how do you know we kissed?!”

“Well, I do now,” Glimmer grinned. Bow turned even redder but you couldn’t help but laugh. You took his hand and rubbed the back of it with your thumb, calming him into a chuckle.

“Okay but seriously,” Mermista interjected. “Why not just ‘Congratulations Bow and Kyle’?”

Everyone in the room froze. You heard your name for the first time since this morning. You hadn’t needed to even ask them not to use it; Bow or Perfuma must have known and briefed everyone not to name you to your face. But now, it floated on the air, and everyone, not just you, knew something was wrong about it by the look on your face.

Mermista looked down and smacked her hand to her forehead. “I… I’m sorry,” she began, then trailed off.

You steeled yourself. “It’s okay. I’ve been thinking about it, actually. And I’ve come to a decision.”

You paused a moment, taking a breath in. You turned, saying it more to Bow than to anyone else, because you needed something from him. You needed to hear your name on his lips. Your true name.

“Will you call me… Kyla?”

Bow took you into his arms in an instant, hugging you close to his chest. “Of course we will! Oh, I’m so proud of you, Kyla!”

“Kyla… that’s such a pretty name, oh my goodness!” said Glimmer.

Perfuma chimed in too. “Oh, it really suits you!”

Mermista, who had now recovered from putting her fin in her mouth, stood by your side and gave you a gentle punch on the shoulder. “Sorry about that, Kyla. Won’t happen again.” She smiled warmly.

As Perfuma began lettering the cake, you and Bow took a seat together. You placed a tentative arm around his side, and he put one on your shoulder in turn. Your heart turned to jelly and flopped out of your chest. You couldn’t believe this was really happening, but by all accounts it was, and you were so, so happy.

Perfuma cut the cake while Glimmer and Mermista distributed plates and silverware. As the pieces were passed around, Perfuma made sure to slide the ‘Kyla’ piece to you.

As you bit into the first bite and it melted all over your mouth, you melted, too. Whatever this ‘ice cream cake’ was, it was amazing. It was cold, and tasted sweeter than anything you’d ever had before. Bow said it was ‘strawberry,’ whatever that meant. You just knew you wanted more.

And you wanted more experiences like this, more days like this, more feelings like this. Bow and your other new friends had made you so unbelievably happy already, and this was only day one of your brand new life. You nudged your leg against Bow’s under the table, and he pressed back into you. You had so much to look forward to. And from now on, the two of you were going to do it all together.


	16. Epilogue

“Kyla? It’s me, Bow. I’m here.”

Two months had passed since that first day in the Fright Zone, when you had met the boy of your dreams. It had gone by so quickly, and yet so much had happened in those eight short weeks.

When Adora had returned, the day after your first kiss, she had congratulated you and clapped you on the back so hard you couldn’t breathe for a good ten seconds. Boy, you had missed her. Over the next few weeks, she took you under her wing, spending nearly all her free time in Bright Moon getting you up to speed on culture outside the Horde.

You had also met Entrapta, who talked very fast and loud and was a good friend. When Bow and the others were out on missions, you spent time in her lab, helping out and learning from a master.

Perfuma took you on a trip to Plumeria, showing you the beauty of the Heart Blossom. She also showed you the tree where her mother, who was lost while she was still young, was buried. You sat by it late into the night as she recounted the story of her youth and her journey to discover her gender.

You met Princess Frosta when she had come to Bright Moon on a diplomatic mission to officially join the princess alliance. You had thought Mermista had been joking about her being ‘Like twelve,’ but there she was, all four feet of her. She was tough and determined as hell, but she was kind and funny, too.

When Bow had disappeared into the woods one day, leaving only a mysterious note, Adora and Glimmer brought you on your first mission as you searched for him. As it turned out, Bow had snuck off to see his parents, and was quite surprised when you showed up at their library. They were scholars, Lance and George; and they were very kind and generous people. Lance, a tall man with hair in long and beautiful braids, doted on you over tea with the girls. His husband George, on the other hand, had spent his time equally between asking you if Bow was treating you well (he was), and cautioning Bow to treasure you and treat you with respect (he did).

After that day, you spent much of your free time working through the stack of books the dads had lent you on gender theory and medicine. You talked to Bow and Perfuma whenever you could about your findings, even teaching them a few of the things you’d picked up on trans history. There was always more to learn.

Now, as you lie on a table in Mystacor, waking up from the spell of relaxation that Aunt Casta had put you under, Bow held your hand. You looked around, remembering where you were and why. It seemed Casta had stayed with you and Bow while the gender magic specialist, Andrea, had performed the procedures.  _ The procedures! _

After a lot of talking through things with Bow, you had decided on two things you wanted for your body. Estrogen production, and a higher, more feminine voice.

Casta looked down at you. “Don’t try to speak yet, Kyla. Sorceress Andrea needs to monitor a few things before we test it out.”

Andrea walked into your view from behind you, arms crossed, smiling. “You were a perfect patient, you know. One of the most textbook hormone realignments I’ve ever seen. And your vocal chord rebuild went off without a hitch.”

“Speaking of textbook,” Bow said, “Entrapta’s new medical imaging device got some very clear before and after pictures of your vocal chords.”

“Those will do a lot to help apprentice gender specialists learn the procedure,” Andrea said. “I really appreciate your team donating the equipment, Bow; and our patient here volunteering to pose for the camera, too.” She smiled at you. “Now, if you’re ready to move on, Kyla, we’ll get you upright. Nod if that’s okay, for me, dear.” You nodded.

Andrea and Casta helped you up, and you threw your legs over the side of the table. You felt a little woozy as the blood left your head, but Bow was there to steady you.

Andrea stepped in front of you. “Alright, open wide.” You complied, realizing your jaw was a little stiff as you opened it. Andrea peered down the back of your throat. “Looking good, girl. Say ‘ahhhhhhh’.”

“Aaaaaaaaahhh”

“Good, good,” she said. “Now do it again, starting at a comfortable pitch and gradually going as low as you can.”

“Aaaaahhhhhhooooooooowwwwmmmmm-” Your voice faded into nothingness at the lower end.

“Okay, now same thing, but this time go as high as you can.”

“Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeee-” You couldn’t believe it. You could go so much higher than before. This was so exciting!

Andrea smiled. “Perfect, range sounds smooth up and down. Okay, next, I’m going to have you try a few words. I’ll hold up cards, just read along.”

You went through Apple, Nose, Zoologist, Wristwatch, and a dozen other words before she placed the cards on a table behind her.

“Finally,” she said, “I want you to try some full sentences. Tell me how you’re feeling right now.”

You took a breath. “I’m really happy with how I sound! It still sounds like my voice, just… girlier. I like it! Thank you so much, Miss Andrea!”

She placed a hand on your knee. “Happy to help, dear. Now, I need to run and get some materials on post-op care for you. Back in a moment!”

As she headed out the door, you looked over to Casta. “Um, Aunt Casta, is it okay if you give us a moment alone?”

She looked somewhat worried, as she often did, but Bow gave her a comforting look and she nodded. “I’ll be right outside if you need anything, children.”

When she had gone, only you and Bow remained in the room. Light filled it through a grand window behind your back, and you spun around to the other side of the table to face it, and Bow as well.

Bow took your hand once more. “Kyla, it sounds great. I’m really glad you’re happy with it.” He smiled big, sending warmth down your spine and into your stomach.

You took in a deep breath. “Listen… I’ve been waiting to say this for a few weeks now, but I wanted to say it right. I wanted to hear it come out right.” A look of concern flashed across Bow’s face, but you squeezed his hand and he was comforted. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Not just this,” you gestured to the room around you, “but everything.”

“You see me for who I am,” you continued, “and you always take such good care of me. You’re a good friend, and a wonderful boyfriend. And even before all that, you saved me. You took a chance on caring about me, like no one ever had before. You gave me hope, made me see that I had a future. These weeks have been the best, happiest times of my life, and so I just wanted you to know that…”

This was it. You said the words. “Bow, I love you.” They felt so good on your tongue. “I love you like no one else in the world. You are my comfort. You are my hope. You are my knight in shining armor, and my cuddle buddy, and my night light, all at once. I can’t imagine what my life would be without you. I love you.”

Bow was crying. He had been crying since the moment you first said it. He wrapped you in an embrace, gentle but firm, and said, “I love you too, Kyla. How could I not love you? You’re my heart. You have such a spirit of goodness and life and laughter within you. God, I’ve been thinking this since I met you but still somehow haven’t found the courage or the words to tell you how much you mean to me. Kyla, you are my everything. Your grace makes my spine buckle. Your smile makes me want to dance. Thank you so much for being in my life. I love you so, so much.

You pulled him tighter into your embrace. Your tears flowed, soaking the shoulder of his shirt. This moment felt like it would never end. You knew it would, but that was okay. Because after this, there would be another one, and another one, and another one. And honestly, you couldn’t wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I had so much fun writing this, and based on the feedback I've gotten so far, I'm so happy to hear that it resonates with people.
> 
> As I said in the notes at the beginning: "Everything Has Breath Inside" by my friend strongcat is a fantastic trans Perfuma fic that I can't recommend enough if you liked this.
> 
> And finally, catch me on tumblr if you want! I'm itsady there too.


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